5:40 AM – Arrhh! That frigging alarm’s going off. I wish Martyn would hurry up and turn it off. Oh no, he’s getting back into bed. He’d better not try it on! I’ve got 2 more hours in bed yet, I’m at work tonight and I ain’t getting woken up for a 5 minute bonk! I’ll just pretend to be asleep. He’s kissing my neck and stroking my back (which is nice) but I ain’t moving. The alarm goes off again, he must have ‘snoozed’ it. This brings an end to my massage. Martyn goes downstairs and I can finally go back to sleep.

6:30 AM – I am once again awoken by Martyn. Could he make any more noise? Pots and pans clatter all over the place, I hear the toilet door lock. I bet he’s on bloody Facebook while sat on the toilet, he’s obsessed.

7:00 AM – I hear Martyn go out the door with a bang which wakes the boys up. No sooner than they’re up they start arguing and fighting. I get up to stop the fracas. I might as well stay up now. Martyn is lucky, he gets to spend all day with his workmates at work. I bet they spend all day laughing and joking, talking about football and slagging off women. Oh no! Martyn has left skid marks up the back of the toilet pan, the mucky git!

7:30 AM – The boys are arguing again, this time about who has the last of their favourite cereal. Their shouting has woken up Gracie. She screams for attention “MUMMY! MUMMY!” she yells. I’m sure Martyn thinks that his cereal bowl will wash itself as he’s left it for me to do again!

10:00 AM – I’ve done the morning chores, vacuuming, polishing, washing-up and I’ve just loaded up the second batch of laundry of the day. I’ve just got time for a quick cuppa before I go to the shops. Martyn is more than likely having a break about now, swapping stories about what they all got up to at the weekend.

12:30 PM – 1:30 PM -The boys are home from school for their dinners. Gracie was just nodding off for her afternoon nap, The boys wake her up with their bickering, she’ll never get back to sleep now. I was hoping to watch the early showings of ‘Neighbours’ and ‘Home and Away’ while she was asleep, now I’ll have to wait until its repeated at tea time. A quick salad for me, I have to rush because Gracie is crabby now. I bet Martyn’s having a greasy burger for his dinner, the greedy bugger!

4:45 PM – Martyn will be home soon, I’d better get tea started, he’ll be expecting something nice to eat. Oh no! What’s that? Gracie has spilled nail polish all over the couch. I need to clean it up before Martyn sees it. I haven’t got time to do a nice tea now. Martyn always tells me how much he likes beans on toast, he’ll be happy with that tonight.

6:00 PM – Finally I can catch ‘Home and Away’ and ‘Neighbours’. Martyn’s even been helpful by doing the pots as I’m at work soon.

7:00 PM -Off to work I go. 4 boring hours there after looking after the house all day. Oh, and I’m on the tills tonight, great! 4 hours of listening to moaning customer’s problems and complaints. I bet Martyn spends all night watching football and playing on the X-box with the kids, the lazy bugger . Even Gracie will be ready for bed with no fuss tonight because she missed her nap this afternoon.

11:30 PM -The end of the day and I’m home. I can tell Martyn has been asleep, nothing’s been done and he hasn’t even dried the pots, which when I point this out to him, he storms off to bed. Shame really, we might’ve had sex tonight!

See how the day went for Martyn here.